GENERAL JEREMY’S KICKIN' CHICKEN WINGS

Submitted By Jeremy Poss

(PETA disclaimer: No chickens are actually kicked in this process)

Suggested Ingredients:

(Chicken is mandatory for this recipe)

1 to 50 packs of chicken wings drumettes (quantity depends on the number of hungry drunks wanting food)

1 to 25 bottles of Texas Pete Buffalo Wing Sauce (quantity depends on the number of thirsty drunks waiting on food and availability of other possible beverages) - 1 bottle is usually enough for several packs of wings with approx 12 – 14 wings per pack

Note: JodysGarage brand hot sauce can be substituted for Texas Pete Buffalo Wing Sauce but this is not recommended
Editor's Note: This is a confusing statement. I think the author was intimidated by the prospect of having to mix the many ingredients needed to create the sensation we all know as JodysGarage Hot Sauce. In fact, I am starting to question the Army that would make a man like this a General. Hmmm, just how and where did you obtain this rank of General, Sir?

½ stick of butter or margarine

1 bottle of cooking oil – Wesson Best Blend is preferred.

1 pack of celery

1 bottle of ranch dressing or whatever amount found in refrigerator

Spices – suggested spices include garlic; freshly ground black pepper; crushed red pepper; crushed habanero pepper; hell any kind of pepper works and/or hot sauce

Preparation H – for soothing aggravated hemorrhoids the next day

Procedure:

Drink heavily for several hours up to point of feeling queasy. Deep fry chicken in extremely hot, preferably clean, cooking oil for at least 10-12 minutes. Be careful not to burn self or house down in process. While chicken is cooking mix sauce, butter, and spices in frying pan and simmer on low-heat. Just enough heat to melt butter is sufficient. Chop and wash celery. After chicken is cooked place on paper towel to absorb some of the grease then gently place in pan with sauce. Coat well with sauce and add more pepper if necessary directly to chicken. Leave wings in sauce until ready to serve. Wings can be dropped on floor while eating to pick up any spices (rat turds) that might have been dropped previously. Enjoy!