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Drummer Jokes
- Musical Oxymoron: Professional Drummer.
- Why didn't the little drummer boy get into heaven? Because he woke the
baby for Christ's sake!
- From the Drummers Dictionary: Accelerando, n. drum fill; solo.
- What do you call a drummer with half a brain? Gifted.
- Why to bands need Roadies? To translate what the drummer says.
- Two drummers walk into a bar, which is funny because you would have
figured the second one would have seen the first guy do it.
- What do you call a Drummer driving a Volkswagen? Farfromthinken.
- What's the difference between a drum machine and a drummer? You only have
to punch the information into the drum machine once!
- What does a drummer use for contraception? His personality!
- What do Ginger Baker and 7-11 coffee have in common? They both suck
without Cream.
- How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just one, so long
as a roadie gets the ladder, sets it up and puts the bulb in the socket for
him.
- What's the best way to confuse a drummer? Put a sheet of music in front of
him. What's the best way to stop a drummer? Put notes on the sheet.
- How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? One, but only after
asking why.
- How many drummers does it take to change a light bulb? Twenty. One to hold
the bulb, and nineteen to drink until the room spins.
- What is the difference between a drummer and a vacuum cleaner? You have to
plug one of them in before it sucks.
- Why are bad drummers better than drum machines? You don't have to plug 'em
in to get something stiff, mechanical and uninspired.
- If a dollar bill was lying in the center of a room, and the Easter Bunny,
Santa Claus, a drummer with good time, and a drummer with bad time were
standing in the corners, who would get the money? The drummer with bad time,
since the other three don't exist.
- What is the difference between a chiropodist and Ginger Baker? A
chiropodist bucks up your feet!
- What do you get if you cross a drummer with a gorilla? A really dumb
gorilla!
- Hey buddy, how late does the band play? Oh, about a half beat behind the
drummer.
- How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They have a
machine to do that now.
- Why is a drum machine better than a drummer? Because it can keep a steady
beat and won't sleep with your girlfriend.
- How many drummers does it take to screw in a light bulb? Five: one to
screw in the light bulb and four to talk about how much better Neil Peart
would have done it!
- Why do drummers have one more brain cell than a horse? So that when
marching in a parade, they can avoid the crap on the road.
- Hey, did you hear about the drummer who finished high school? Me neither.
- Why are orchestra intermissions limited to 20 minutes? So you don't have
to retrain the drummers.
- Why do guitarists put drumsticks on the dash of their car? So they can
park in the handicapped spot.
- Johnny says to his mom: I want to be a drummer when I grow up! Mom: But
Johnny, you can't do both.
- What do you call someone who hangs around with musicians? A drummer.
- How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? The knocking speeds up.
- How can you tell when a drummer's at the door? He doesn't know when to
come in.
- Did you hear about the guitarist who was going to a gig and locked his
keys in the car? It took him two hours to get the drummer out.
- Why do you hang around with that drummer? 'Beats me!'
- How is a drum solo like a sneeze? You can tell it's coming, but you can't
do anything about it.
- What does the average drummer get on an IQ test? Drool.
- How can you tell when the stage riser is level? The drool comes out of
both sides of the drummer's mouth.
- What do you call a drummer that breaks up with his girlfriend? Homeless.
- What's the last thing a drummer says in a band? Hey, guys, why don't we
try one of my songs?
- What did the professional drummer say when he got to his job? 'Would you
like fries with that?'
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